Words of Wisdom
Archives


  • The hardest thing about facts is facing them.

  • Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you please - Mark Twain.

  • People who gossip usually wind up in their own mouth traps.

  • If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape.

  • If you have a sore throat, be thankful you're not a Giraffe.

  • Happiness is like a potato salad-when shared with others, it's a picnic.

  • Once a man learns how to listen, he and his wife can remain on speaking terms indefinitely.

  • There are two kinds of bores-those who talk too much and those who listen too little.

  • Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.

  • He who claims he never made a mistake in his life generally has a wife who did.

  • A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.

  • Learn from the mistakes of others; you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

  • A mistake is proof that at least somebody has tried.

  • He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.

  • You will never be hurt by anything you don't say.

  • Some people won't suffer in silence; that would take the pleasure out of it.

  • A good speech consists of a good beginning and a good ending-preferably close together.

  • Between tomorrow's dream and yesterday's regrets is today's opportunity.

  • The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.

  • Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.

  • A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

  • It's a good idea to let your children begin making decisions while they're still young enough to know everything.

  • Prosperity is that short skip between the last payment and the first.

  • Raising children teaches you many things, most of which come too late to do you any good.

  • When the hospital gives you one of those skimpy gowns, you know the end is in sight.

  • There are three kinds of people in this world-those who can count and those who can't.




























Nature didn’t make us perfect, so she did the next best thing. 
          She made us blind to our faults.

  • Intelligence is like a river… the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

  • One way to keep people from jumping down your throat is to keep your mouth tightly closed.

  • The key to a happy marriage is learning to apologize as soon as you realize you are right.

  • Flattery is like chewing gum… enjoy it briefly, but don’t swallow it.

  • Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else.

  • Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

  • Narrow-minded people are like narrow-necked bottles… the less they have in them, the more noise they make pouring it out.

  • It must be a problem for two-faced people to put their best face forward.

  • Almost all our faults are more pardonable than all the methods we think up to hide them.

  • Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked - Mark Twain.

  • Some people are only alive because it’s illegal to kill them.

  • A person, who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.  (This is very important.  Pay attention.  It never fails.)  The same thing applies to anyone who is cruel in any way to animals.

  • Never be afraid to try something new.  Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.  A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

  • The success invariably depends on the woman.